When you’re in an unhappy marriage, it’s easy to call it quits and move on with your life. You can’t allow yourself to stay and feel tortured. You can have a great life ahead as a single person or with a new partner.
However, it gets complicated when you have kids. You don’t want to drag your kids into this mess. They don’t deserve to feel this way since they did nothing for the relationship to end. You also don’t wish to make them feel guilty about the divorce. Some kids might think that they’re the reason why their parents decided to split.
Given this complicated situation, should you stay in an unhappy marriage?
The simple answer is no.
When you already feel terrible about the partnership, there’s nothing you can do to be happy again. Of course, you have to give it some time to see if things will start to change. You might eventually solve your issues and continue your happy marriage.
Eventually, though, you might need to give up. When you’re in the middle of an abusive relationship, and you keep fighting even over the simplest things, there’s no point in staying. You will only complicate the situation if you do not give up on your marriage.
Your kids deserve better
Yes, you want to give your kids a complete family, and they deserve to have one. However, it might not be worth it when they continuously see arguments and physical violence. They might even grow up thinking that it’s normal for couples to fight that way.
Therefore, it would be better if you decide to split and choose how you’re going to take care of the children as an unmarried couple. You can have shared custody and explicitly say what the responsibility of each party will be. It’s better to settle the differences now and talk about it so you can move forward.
There’s life outside the relationship
Some people fear that they won’t find anyone else when they decide to end their marriage. They worry that they’re too old to date again, and they don’t look attractive anymore. If you think this way, you’re overthinking it. You have to realize that if there’s someone out there for you, that person will come. If no one does, you can always count on your kids to love and protect you.
You need to talk to someone
If you feel confused right now, it’s understandable. Take your time to decide the next step since you’re dealing with a life-changing situation. Your decision won’t only affect your life, but your kids too. If you don’t know what to do and you have no one to confide in, you might consider seeking help from a therapist.
The good thing about partnering with therapy experts is that they know the right words to say. Sometimes, even if they don’t say anything, their presence is enough to make you feel good. You can decide what’s next after a few therapy sessions.
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